Q and A

I got an email at illbelovingyou@hotmail.com the other day. It was from a birthmother I have never met who placed not too long ago. She asked me how I made it through the first year.

Oh my, the first year. I wish I could take the hurt out of the first year for all birthmothers. However, I believe that hurt made me stronger. It's all in how you deal with the pain I suppose.

Well, my bMom friend...let me tell you the truth.

I don't know how I made it through the first year. Certainly with support. I had amazing family and friends and a group at LDS Family services who let me talk it out and cry it out and sometimes scream it out. Also, I am blessed to have an AMAZING adoptive family. Truly, I don't know what I did to deserve them. I saw my sweet Sam often through the first year. They were always willing to let me hold her and love her and I would go home with my hands and clothes smelling like her. I realize not all bMom's have this in the first year, and if you don't...stick with the support.

Also, I think it's important to let yourself be sad if you feel sad. It's ok. Just don't let it take over. If you are too sad to get out or meet up with friends or do whatever else needs to be done...then it's time to find that support.

Also, know that there are lots of us, like me, who are more than willing to email you, chat with you, whatever you need.

Try birthmothers4adoption.blogspot.com. There are some amazing bMom's linked to that site, I think you'll love it.

That's all I have for you, I hope I helped. Good luck.