As I sit here in the quiet of early morning and rock my beautiful 8 week old, I finally realize exactly what I sacrificed when placing Samantha into the arms of her parents.
Night feedings are quiet, peaceful times. I feed my child while she stares at me. She trusts me. When she's done I rock her, sometimes I study her face, her fingers, her toes. This amazing little miracle that God has given to me. I missed this with my first born.
Then I think of her Mother. I know that she spent hours with Samantha, just like this. Feeding her child, watching her child learn to trust her. Studying her baby and feeling blessed that God, and her birth mother, gave her that amazing little miracle.
These are things I wasn't ready for, that I wouldn't fully have appreciated at 19 years old. I am grateful for a Mother and Father who were ready, and who God blessed me and my baby girl with. Today, every day, I am grateful.