I figured out that I have a harder time posting when I haven't seen Sam and her family in a long time. It's been almost six months which is the longest amount of time I've gone without seeing her cute face since the day she was born. There's a hole in my chest. I miss her.
I also quit going to "group" at LDS Family Services. Not for the same reason, but because I feel the girls there don't take it seriously. They sit and gossip and talk about the newest jeans and who is dating who and I get so frustrated. I'm there to be supportive and to talk about adoption. If it's going to turn into a "mean girl" club, I'd rather be at home with my husband and baby. I need to start going back. Even if there is only one girl there that needs someone to listen, I want to be there for her.
No matter my ups and downs, I love adoption.