Christmas!

Well, it went fantastic. Sam's Mom made an awesome breakfast, Ava behaved, presents exchanged. I had a great time.

Sam telling Mike about the pictures he got for Christmas. I loved seeing them together. I think she's very lucky to have both her birthparents in her life. Also, Sam's beautiful sister Alex. We love her!

They look so much alike. Mike loved her laugh, which is something I always comment on as well. It's so contagious and she uses it often!

visit.

Samantha's Birthfather is coming from CA to visit her this weekend.

It's been about 4 1/2 years since I have seen him. We communicate, rarely, through text and facebook, but I have not seen him face to face since my adoption was still new and fresh in my mind.

Things are so different now. I'm happily married, I have a child and Samantha is just a normal part of my life now. One I love. :)

It will be...interesting. I'm looking forward to it!

Once Upon A Time

As usual I was having a hard time deciding what to get Samantha and her older sister for Christmas. Reading birthmothers4adoption I learned about Once Upon A Time, an adoption story. I had to have it! It came in the mail yesterday and I just love it. I would suggest it to any one who loves adoption. Find it HERE!

the end.

National Adoption Month is over. I didn't quite complete the 30 posts in 30 days challenge, but I posted a lot more than I usually would have, and I got to read a lot of great posts from others. I love all the new blogs I have discovered through comments and other adoption blogs.

Thanks for a great month!

question.

Another question from a hopeful adoptive couple.

How does having an open adoption help the birthparent heal?

Good question. I have thought long and hard about how to answer. I can only give my own opinion based on my own experience, maybe other birthparents will be willing to share their answers.

Some days, my heart breaks all over again. Some days I miss Sam so much that it consumes me. Some days are hard. What gets me through those days? KNOWING that she is happy. KNOWING that she is loved. KNOWING that she is cared for. I can picture where she sleeps, eats, plays. I've jumped on her trampoline with her, I've read books with her on her living room couch, I've shared meals with her at her kitchen table.

Also, I don't have to wonder if her parents love her, because I see the way they look at her, the way the speak to her and treat her. I don't wonder if she gets along with her older sister because I've witnessed the way they act like best friends.

KNOWING helped me heal. I don't have to worry so I was able to move on.

birthparents.

I was asked a question I'd like to respond to publicly.

What are we, as potential adoptive parents, supposed to call Birthparents?

There was more to the question than this, but that about sums it up. First of all, we are all different and we all have our own ideas. When Samantha's parents introduce me to people they call me her birthmom or birthmother, which I am just fine with. However, I know some girls have a problem with the word birthmom and I'm sure they have their reasons. What I would suggest is ASKING. Communicate with her and ask her what she would prefer. Some like "first mom" or "tummy mommy". Just keep it respectful and we should be just fine.

This made me think...

It is my opinion that some people are just TOO sensitive. You know what? I AM a birthmom and Samantha's parents ARE her adoptive parents. I often call them adoptive parents and it's in NO WAY meant to be negative. I'm just trying to keep things less confusing. Samantha's parents are aware that I refer to them this way and we have no problems. But, like I said, we are open with each other and we communicate. communicate, communicate, communicate. Can't stress it enough.

Adoption Spam

This story makes me so sad. I'm glad the R House blogged about it. I want to help spread the word to save potential adoptive families from hurting.

Click here for the sad story.